He was clearing up these difficulties by tracing a partially obliterated suture the Scotchman had overlooked when the door from the passage opened, and Manning came into his universe. A faint gleam of returning colour gave her at once a more natural appearance. What she had termed illuminative now appeared to be only another phase of the mystery which enveloped the child. She saw herself building up a life upon that —a life restrained, kindly, beautiful, a little pathetic and altogether dignified; a life of great disciplines and suppressions and extensive reserves. It was her job to keep the house as neat as a pin, up to the high standard that Sheila expected, being a nurse. It was dawn: Cathy would soon be off to the restaurant and Larry off to paint a house. It was the end, she told herself, fiercely. ‘Couldn’t even trouble to make a pretence of motherhood. She caught the fact that it was something more than strong drink that laid you out. No, I thank you. “If my own mother was alive,” sobbed Ann Veronica, “she would understand. At the eastern gate of the churchyard stood the carriage with the steps lowered. One can learn and understand only by personal experience, by actual contact with the realities of life.
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